Episode 16: The Real Reason We Get Annoyed At Co-Workers, Partners, and Children

podcast Jun 19, 2019

Annoying co-workers, partners, or even family members can be a significant stressor in our lives. But what if I told you that the REAL reason why specific people annoy us is because of a very specific word we are using in our thoughts that are causing unnecessary stress and suffering?

That word is: SHOULD.

Should presupposes that something or someone is not “right”. And in this episode we’re going to deconstruct what that truly means and why “should” is a dangerous word that needs to be put under a microscope in order for us to start feeling better right away.

If you enjoyed this podcast, please screenshot this podcast on your device and tag me @susanchoiwellness on Instagram stories and let me know what your key takeaways are from this episode!

Oh! And this podcast is brought to you by a new training on PERSONALIZATION. A FREE guide for the listeners of this podcast so you can learn to think better thoughts in any situation without the stress. For instant access head on over to


[3:10]: Do you ever get angry annoyed?

[4:13]: The type of thoughts that trigger annoyance.

[5:20]: Educating and mentoring from a clean place of love and respect

[5:50]: The one word that causes us unnecessary stress – “should”

[6:50]: How the world defines “should”

[8:05]: The problem with probability is that it allows us to latch ON to this IDEAL version of how we want someone or something to be.

[8:39]: “Should” argues against our reality

[9:15]: What makes us believe we can control how people behave, act, feel, or say?

[10:03]: Our pain is caused by our THOUGHT of how a situation or person should be different

[10:21]: Specific work “should” examples

[12:08]: The moment I accepted I am not in control

[12:33]: To think and put pressure on ourselves that we must control the outcome makes us feel worse

[13:39]: Exercise: notice the “should” statements that arise the next time you get annoyed. Be specific with the specific thought you had


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